So I do not post for weeks on end and now I post twice in the same day! WTF is up with that? If must be an Xmas mericle!
Today is the 25th. Last night I worked and thankfully it was not bad. No real tramas to speak of but just a lot of sick kids. There is the standard winter plague going around and with people traveling, things spread like wildfire. I had some time to think about what this holiday truly means to me. As many of you might already know I am an Atheist, but I was raised ELCA lutheran. This means that I can still walk into any ELCA church, on any random Sunday and do the worship without opening the LBW (Lutheran Book of Worship). Even now just thinking about that fact, my mind started the service and confession of sins on autopilot. This also means I can remember the countless Christmas Eve services that we attended and holiday programs we did. There are times that I miss the tradition and music. There was something beautiful about being in my old church, the only light in the sanctuary was that of the hundred or so candles and the sounds of the congregation singing silent night.
For me, Xmas has never been a big favorite of mine. I have always found the time to me more stress then joy. Part of this, ok a big part of this, came from my mild to moderate social anxiety and the rest was because of all the stuff I felt/feel I need/ed to do. This changed ever so slightly with the birth of my kids. I still do not like this time of year but I like to do stuff for the family so I suck it up and get through it with as gracefully as I can.
As I said in my last post I know there are people out there, maybe even you my dear readers, that find this time of year to be almost to much to bear. I am not going to talk down to you and tell you that is till be ok or that it will get better or to just hang in there. I will say that I understand. If you are close to your family, please go to them and let them help. If you are not close to your family, go to your chosen family (friends, partners and such) and let them in so they can help you through this. If you do not feel that you have anyone and things get bad please reachout! I will post some numbers that you can call at the end of this post. Mental health issues are not something that takes a holiday break. I am not going to put a bunch of cliche phrases here to try to prove anything. I promise.
I will close this short post with this. No matter what you celebrate, no matter who you do or do not pray to, no matter what you call yourself, no matter how you identify or who you love, I hope this season brings you love, peace and joy. Cling to each other however you can. We are all in this together in the end and no one makes it out of ride alive. Drink deep, fight hard and love strongly in this thing called life. Now is what we have and all that we are given. Grasp it with all your might and do not let go until you are without any strength left…and maybe a few moment more. You are loved, you are powerful and you are valid. These three things have been, are now and will always be true no matter when you or others may tell you.
With love and Cheers!
Trans Lifeline (877) 565-8860
Trevor Lifeline 866-488-7386
GLBT National Help Center 1-888-843-4564
Youth Talkline 1-800-246-7743
Fenway Health Helpline 888-340-4528
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255