Bad Tapes

We all have those tapes that play through our heads.  These are the messages that we hear when we are faced with different situations.  These are tapes that have been recorded over the years and different experiences that we have come across.  Fire is hot, don’t touch.  Chocolate is good, must eat.  Many of these tapes are very helpful and even essential for us to get through our daily lives.  The issue comes in when we have tapes that are not as altruistic as the other.  These Bad tapes are the ones that tell us that we are not pretty enough, not thin enough, are too thin, not worthy of love just to name a few.  These tapes too were recorded over years of messages that we were both told and reinforced by repeating them to ourselves.

 

I am no exception to these tapes.  Some days I feel that I have more then my fair share.  I am an out and proud Trans woman.  I make little to no excuses or apologies for this fact.  If you were to meet me in person you might see why.  I stand six foot pulse feet tall, have multicolored hair and weigh north of 250 lbs.  It say that I do not blend into a crowd might be an understatement.  I am becoming more and more comfortable in my beautiful trans skin everyday.  This does not mean that these tapes do not still gut me whenever they play through my head.

 

There is not a day that doesn’t go by that I have to force myself to try and stop them.  These tapes tell me that I am not woman enough, I am not valid enough, I am a fraud.  Those are just the collections of bad tapes that I have around my gender.  There are also the bad tapes I have around love and relationships.  These tell me that I am not lovable, that I am far too broken for anyone to even bother with, and that those who are in my life are just too kind to tell me that they are really sick of me and are just looking for the right time to leave.  So yes, I understand bad tape.

 

Now that we have identified what these tapes are what the fuck do we do with it?  The biggest thing I can say is that we need to critically look at the messages that they are telling us.  We need to find out where we heard these messages and where they were recorded. This means we have to do some very heavy emotional lifting.  I am sorry my sweet starlings, this is not going to be easy or fun for the most part.  Fuck it! This is going to downright suck for most of it.  I am sorry but I will never lie to any of you.  This is just a hard truth.

 

There can be a silver lining for many of us though.  There are people out there who are more than willing to help you though these tapes.  These people can be trusted friends, safe family members or even therapists.  I have used two of the three of that list to start to work on my “fuckery playlist” as I have come to call it.  I am lucky enough to have friends and partners that are willing to help me work through these messages.  This was shown when I had a case of ambush dysphoria the other night and my partner all but read me the riot act for allowing these tapes to play at full volume.  (Sometime I need that tough love.)  Another time I was talking to a dear friend about how the tape that was playing through my head about not being lovable et al.  They loved me enough to simply tell me, “Lilith, chill the fuck out and know it the fuck off.  You are loved and worthy of love.”

 

I know that not everyone has people in their lives that they can turn to.  This is where a trauma trained and compassionate therapist can value their weight in whatever their fee is. I have had the opportunity to work with both ends of the spectrum of therapists.  I have seen ones that have been amazing then I have seen ones that I left thinking, “fuck I did more their mental health then they did for mine.”  I will pass this word of advice when you are looking for a therapist.  PLEASE feel free to not be committed one after one meeting.  Think of it like dating (stick with me here).  Just because you went on one date with a person, it does not mean that you are committed to them for the rest of your life.  The same goes with therapists.  If you see a therapist a few times and it just doesn’t seem like it is working for a number of reasons, do not feel bad about moving on.  A word of caution though, PLEASE DO NOT leave a shrink just because they are making you face the things that are hard to look at.  I have done this and I am not proud of that fact.  Now if they are not respecting boundaries and pushing you far to hard or far to much further then you are truly ready to go…RUN BITCH RUN! 😉

 

There is a universal silver lining here my sweet starlings.  That is that you learned these messages that are on these tapes so that means that you can unlearn them too.  Ok it will suck.  I said that before and I will say it again.  What I will add here is this simple and true fact.  YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU EVEN KNOW!!!!   You have made it this far.  You have made it through some truly horrible shit in your life.  You are a warrior even if you do not believe it.  I know that for a fact and I will tell you that until I no longer have breath in my chest.  You are stronger than you know, more brilliant than you think and more amazing then you will ever admit to yourself.  That is why I am here my starlings, I will be your cheerleader when you need it.  I will also be that highly polished boot in your ass when you need it.  That is what we are here to do for each other.

 

I want you to walk away from these posts with the knowledge that you can do this if you want to.  I know that you are scared and that is ok.  I know that you most likely think that you can not do this and that is normal.  I know all this is true because it is what I have seen in so many people throughout my life.  Know that you can and will change what you want to change.  Know that you can and will grow from all these trials that you will have to face to rewrite these bad tapes.  Know that Lady Lylith always has your back and will always be cheering for you.  Now go out there and do the thing.  You got this my amazing starlings!

 

Cheers!

 

Another Week Down

Hello all.  I am sorry for the late posting.  We have survived yet another week of this crazy shit.  As for me this week has been busy and not much has changed.  I have found myself diving headlong into my work.  There have been several process changes that have been put into place for both the protection of the patients and staff.  This has been a learning experience for all the staff.   I will say this, the staff of the clinic is amazing.  I am so lucky to work with such great people.

For now, not much has changed in my other day to day.  The order to “stay home” came down this week.  This means that we, as a state, should stay in or around our homes unless we absolutely have to.  Being a person that I am considered “essential” I literally have paperwork saying that I am able to go out and about.  It is fucking surreal.

I am not sure what this next week will look like.  I know that I am working as many hours as I can.  (Hell, what else do I have to do).  I have started a few new projects to keep me busy, when I have the energy.  I have found myself being completely drained at the end of each day so I am not sure when I will get these projects truly off the ground.  Fear not, I will tell everyone when these projects go live.

I hope that everyone is keeping their spirits up and their heads held high.  We will get through this.  I promise you. This will pass.  What I am holding my breath about is what will the world look like after all this is over?  I hope that this will change the world for the better.

Cheers!

KJD

Calling Out into the World

What a strange and scary world we are living in right now.  As you see I have decided to reopen this blog for the time being.  I am not sure how long I will keep this up but I will do it as long as it keeps me busy and brings me joy.

So in the well over a year since I posted a lot has happened.  Relationships have ended and started.  I have had the first stage of my chest reconstruction (which I will go into more about later).  I started and left a job.  My bottom surgery has been on the books and then off because of the COVID.  Life is in flux.

I have started a D/s and romantic relationship with an amazing girl we will call BG because she is my baby girl. We have a 24/7, low protocol Caregiver/little relationship.  We met on Facebook and have been together for well over 6 months.  She is amazing.  We are looking at starting a podcast in the near future so please look for it in the future.  Don’t worry.  I will let you know when it is up.

In the beginning of February I had phase one of my top surgery.  We are doing it in phases because of the size of chest I am going for.  For phase one we place tissue expanders in.  The plan was to expand the tissue over a few months then go back in and place the implants.  With the pandemic going on, all “elective” surgeries have been cancelled until this passes.  What sucks is that I have no idea when that will be.  This has been a huge stressor to me but, with the help of D and BG I am getting through.

Back in October, I started a new position at another sexual health clinic.  This was a dream job for me.  I had always wanted to work for this clinic even before I started working as an RN.  Well, do you remember that old saying that you should watch what you wish for?  It is so true.  The job turned out to be a nightmare. There was no training program in place.  Some of the staff were colder to me then the Minnesota winters and no matter what I did it was wrong.  To say that I was set up to fail would be an understatement.  The crazy thing is that when I put my notice in, they admitted as such.  So I am back at my original clinic and loving it.  See people, the grass is not greener, it is just different.

I also spent the last year jumping through all the gatekeeping hoops to get my bottom surgery.  This was huge.  Several doctors, shrinks, and letters later, I had my preauth from the insurance company.  I even had a rough timeline for the surgery.  Then the pandemic happened.  Once again this surgery was deemed “elective” and now it is limbo.  I am not sure what is going to happen with my preauth that runs out at the end of the year.  Most people who do not know how it works would just say, “Hunny just have them do it again next year if it runs out.”  The thing is to get this preauth I need two letters of support that are less than 12 months old.  This is what happened the first time.  I had already had the letters of support 24 months ago but they were 13 months old at the time of submitting them, I needed to find new mental health professionals to write me whole new letters. So here is where my worry starts to build.  If this surgery is pushed to after the new year will I need to get all new letters and start over yet again?  Fuck I hope not.

So that is my life in a nutshell.  I will be posting weekly from here on out until this ends and hopefully beyond.  Thank you for reading this and I hope you are all safe and well.

Cheers!

Karissa

 

Change Will Do You Good!

Change can be good. This is a statement that I have heard so much lately that it is starting to sound hackneyed and cliché.  No matter how true that statement is change is still often hard.

In less then ten days as of this post I will be starting a new and exciting chapter of my life. Nursing.  Not nursing school but actual patient care nursing.  I graduated nursing school in September of this year and passed the NCLEX in 75 questions in October.  In November I interviewed and accepted a position for a clinical float nurse for a local branch of a national nonprofit.  I will be covering the needs of their clinics within the state of Minnesota.

To say that I am excited would be an understatement.  While it still does not feel real to me yet I can not wait for my first day.  This is the thing that I have worked for two (well more then that really) years for.  This is the thing that I stressed, screamed, endured and fought for.  Shit is getting real!

If I did not talk about how this change is actually bittersweet I feel that I would be missing have the picture though.  As this door is opening, another is closing.  By taking this job I will be leaving the one that I have had for over eight years.  If I am being honest I think that it is time.

I loved my time as a tech, as a whole.  I met and worked with some amazing people.  I have helped some amazing patients.  I learned so much that I have not even going to go into that list.

These experiences are not without their cost though.  It is so true that nothing in life is free.  During my time as a tech I have seen things that will stay with me forever, and not in the good way.  During my time as a tech I have seen senseless deaths; been verbally, physically, and emotionally assaulted almost daily, and lived/worked with a near constant undercurrent of fear for my own life.  It was to the point that my family had an actual plan for what would happen WHEN I was killed on the job.  After eight years of this I was mentally worn down to the point that I ended up in the hospital after a failed suicide attempt. (see previous posts for the whole-ish story)

Please understand that this is not really commentary or rebuke of my soon to be former employer.  This is the state of hospital medicine in the US today.  The number of attacks on healthcare staff is not only appalling but is only rising. Staff are being assaulted every shift. Staff members are being killed on the job at rates that are mind blowing (sources upon request).  This needs to change.

This is one of the reasons why I decided to walk away from the hospital setting for now and focus specialty clinical nursing.  I want to become more of a specialist in an area(s) that I am truly passionate about. With this new job I will be doing just that.  I will be focusing on Reproductive Health and Rights, Mental health promotion and Transgender Healthcare.  These are the three of the four areas that I have the most calling for. To say that this is a dream job of mine would not be a lie.

I know that there are those who read this blog that are acute/hospital care nurses.  I am not saying anything against them.  There are those who that is where they are called to be. I love that.  I love that there is a place in nursing that everyone can fit. Maybe some day I will go back to the hospital side of nursing.  Right now it is not where I feel I can do the most good for the most people.

I will update everyone once I start on how the new gig is going.  Thank you all for your time and reading my blog.  I love you all!

As always, Be Good, Be Well and ALWAYS Be Kind!

Cheers

KJD

Trans Women Read as Crone

The image of the Crone holds many different connotations in our vast global history.  It is a character that is seen throughout most of the world lore.  Many times the Crone is depicted as a bitter old woman when is not conventionally attractive who prays on children and the gullible.  She is the old witch in the woods that deprecate people will seek out for the help of last resort.

In some pagan traditions, the Crone is seen as the Goddess in the later stages of life.  She is the woman who had past her childbearing years. The Crone is see and often revered as the wise woman of the tribe.  She is the healer and councilor.  She is the maker of medicines and potions.  She is the worker of magic of both pure and..not so pure.  She is the teacher of knowledge, both the mystical and practical.

As a trans woman, I feel that once I began transitioning I also started my own Croning process.  The fact that I waited till I was 38 and already had two teenage persons in my life to start may have contributed to those feelings.  This is not a bad thing mind you, just not something that I expected

The fact that I did not start living authentically until later in my life afforded me a very different outlook.  Walking in the world of to my miss-assigned gender for almost four decades allowed me to see “how the other half lived.”  It was enlightening.  I have seen the world from now two very different sides.

I have seen the privileges that masculine identified persons are afforded.  I have felt the stress of trying to be the “perfect” man, father, leader and/or spouse.  I have felt the bite of the phrase “Man the hell up!”

I have also begun to experience the world through the lens of feminine identified persons.  I have felt that pressure to alter my body to be beautiful enough, skinny enough and/or smart enough (but not to smart). I have felt the fear of personal injury, assault or even death as a group of men cross my path.  I have felt the idea that I need to be the perfect spouse, parent and worker without complaint or balk.

It is the exact fact that I have see the world through both sets of eyes that makes me feel that I have entered the Crone phase of life.  I have knowledge that many people do not possess.  I am able to take this knowledge and use it to incite changes, to teach other and attempt to make the world better. As the old School House Rock cartoons always said, “Knowledge is Power!”

 

Be Good, Be Well, and Always Be Kind!

Cheers!

KJD

Manifestation Experiment 1

I have found myself listing to a lot of audio book that deal with making your live better.  I know that in the past self help books have gotten a bad wrap.  Much of the time, this has been a fair and honest assessment.  I was the first one to call “woo” and blow these styles of books. I have always thought that they were written for folks that had nothing better to do then try to find the quick fix and easy way to do life.  I think that this was te reason that I have fought for so long and hard to not give this genre very minimal, if any, space on both my actual and virtual shelves.  That had changed.

Now hold one a moment and hear me out.  I can almost hear the judgment and sarcasm that many of you all the way over here and through the distance of time and space.  Let me explain.

The self-help book of the past had far to much of the idea that if you just say, “I am wealthy”, “I am happy,” “I am successful,” enough these things will just happen.  I am not seeing that as much today.  Yes there are affirmation and using the power of positive thought, but they do not stop there.  Unlike the books of old, todays self-help books go one step further.  You do your affirmation like in the past, BUT then you get your ass to work!

I have found that the idea of “manifesting the change you want” do be a very heave theme these day. I think the best way I can sum this up is as follows.  If you send out positive energy you get positive energy.  Some people are more prone to this then others.  I am one of those people.  Here is a example.  Has anyone notice that you can be having a good day then you run into Ms. Debbie Downer? After only a few minuets in their presence you are in a bad mood. How did this happen?  Not 10 mins ago things were going well.  Now you feel like life is shit.  Energy.

In that same vain, it is safe to assume to you have heard the saying, “laughter is contagious.”  I know that most people have had this happen. Your day is not going great and then your friend says something that was funny-ish to your but a real knee slapper to them.  They are laughing so hard that you think that they are going to pass out from lack of breath. Before you know it, you are laughing too and almost as hard.  Then you realize that your mood has improved and now are doing better.  Their positive energy has rubbed off on you.  Today most self-help writers are calling these actions manifestation.

After seeing these examples and ideas in far too many places to count I thought I would give it a try for the next month.  For the next 30 days I am going to attempt to practices manifesting positive changes in my life. First I will speak good things into my life then be open to the work that is needed to make them happen.  After a month I will recap how it went and decided if I am going to keep doing it.

How about joining me on this experiment and journey?  See if these next 30 day are the best of your life or not.  Go to the Facebook groupand let everyone know how it is going and if you are going to keep going or stop.

Well that is enough for now. I hope you are well and know how much I lover every one of you!

 

As always:

Be Well, Be Good, and ALWAYS Be Kind!

Cheers

KJD

Minor Step are BIG Progress

As you may (or may not) know, I am currently on a medical leave of absence for reasons of mental health. I was originally ashamed of myself for having to take this time to work these issue.  I decided to own my story and be radically vulnerable and transparent (see Confessions of a Depressed Trans Woman for details).  Through treatment and self-reflection I have been able to make tiny strides in the right direction.  This was made clear this morning at about 330a.

If I go to be any time before midnight I will normally wake up around 2-3a.  This just the way it is.  Since I was asleep by 930pmy eyes popped open around 330.  I am addicted to my phone (mostly likely so are you so stop judging me 😉 ). When I am coherent enough, I grab the phone and turn it on. I have a voicemail from work and a few text messages.  All of these are on the same theme. I was back on the schedule and where was I?

Here is where I start to see my personal growth.  In the past I would have freaked the hell out.  I would have jumped out of bed, call work and lost my ever loving shit at the situation.  I also would have most likely taken it out on whichever poor soul answered the phone. Not good.  This morning was different.  I was able to take a breath and be ok with this minor mess up.

I call work and talked to them very calmly.  I explained that I was still on leave and that I would be for a bit longer.  The Nurse I talked to was very kind and understanding.  I told her that I would be contacting team member health in the morning to clear this issue up.  That was it. No frustration that was blown to the N-th degree.  No downward spiral in to the pit of despair.  Just a feeling of, “Well this kind of sucks because of this miscommunication.  I see that there is a way to fix it but not right now.  I will just fix it when I can.”

For those who do not live with anxiety this statement may seem benign.  For me it is anything but. In the not so distant past, this would have sent me into such a tailspin that I would be wrecked for the next few days to a week.  I would have ruminated on this like a cow on its cud.  My mind would have taken this small issue and taken it to places like, “They are doing this to me on purpose,” “They are doing this just to make me look bad,” or “I should just cut bait on the therapy and get back to work. I am not really sick anyway.”

As you can see, this is a far different reaction.  Now I have the mental tools (and yes medication) to deal with these issues.  I can not tell you how great that being able to see these changes feels.  It is validating as well as gives me hope that I will continue to get better.  I just need to stay the course.

I am not better yet. What I am is better then I was yesterday and tomorrow I will work to be better then today.  That is my goal and plan.  I know that there will be setbacks.  I know there will be hard times.  I also know that as long as I stay grounded, lean on those who are willing to help me when I need it and practice self-compassion I will get there.

Thanks you all for your amazing readership and coming along with me on this adventure into my future.

Admin note: There will be some changes that will be coming up in the near-ish future.  I will keep you all posted as that are about to happen.  I hope you enjoyed this and PLEASE feel free to share this blog with everyone you know. Love you all!!!!

 

Remember, Be Well, Be Good and ALWAYS Be Kind!

Cheers!

KJD

pgp: she/her/hers

Once More Into The Breach My Friends…

Sometimes you can not leave well enough alone. By you I really mean me. I have decided that I need to go back to school.  I can hear some of you already. “Karissa, you just got done with nursing school.  Why are you doing this to yourself again and so soon?” Well, baskets are not going to weave themselves underwater are they? Just kidding.  I am going back to get my Bachelors of Nursing Science (BSN) then my Masters in Nursing Education.

When I first start college back in 1997 (yes, I know that I am old), I wanted to teach.  I have had the joy of teaching my fellow classmates many things during my time in nursing school as well as many of my patients. There is a joy I have found in teaching. When the student gets it there is a light that goes off in their eyes.  This “ah-ha” moment is wonderful to see.

My end goal at this time is to teach in a clinical setting.  While I think that I could do actual classroom teaching, providing teaching at the bedside I feel will be more fulfilling. I am not saying that in time I will teach in the classroom, just not right away.  I say this as if I might have a choice.  Let’s be honest; I will teach where I am told as long as the check doesn’t bounce.

I have not given up my dream to work Labor and Delivery or Mental Health.  I can do both.  If I teach nursing clinical I can show my students in either of these departments how to turn the knowledge that they received from the classroom and actually us it with their patients.

I have found a school that will do the BSN completely online and is all essays based.  This means that I will not be doing any testing ever again. Yes I know that there will be tests for my certificates like BLS, ACLS, PALS etc. Let me have this one ok? I will not name the school here at this time.  I will however say that it is not Rasmussen.

I know from my family’s experiences that finding a teaching job that is full time can be rather hard. Many colleges and universities now are not giving tenure to anyone.  Why would they? Why keep a teacher/professor around forever when they can just hire adjunct teachers/professors as a fraction of the cost?  The college save’s money and is able to get rid of the instructor at any time.

I wish there was a way to show the mountain of sarcasm and distain for this practice that I am using right now.  That is one of the major downfalls if this style of communication.  I understand that the tenure system has been abused in the past.  I know that keeping an instructor indefinitely is not always the best thing. I also know that there are far to many good, scratch that, AMAZING instructors out there who are having to work several jobs to make ends meet and/or get medical insurance (I am looking at you Sis).  I digress.

I start this undertaking on January 1, 2019.  A new year, a new adventure!  If I am reading this correctly, I could be done in as little as 12 months.  This is because of the amount of credits that I am able to transfer in credits.  Wish me luck, my amazing readers.

 

Be Good, Be Well and Always Be Kind!

Cheers!

KJD

 

Ps: I wanted to take a quick second and say thank you to all of you reading these blogs.  This was a stupid project that I started one night because I was looking for a way to not do school work.  Over the last year I have found that this is something that I really love to do.  I love to see that people are connecting with my writing and thoughts.  While I would do this no matter how many people would read this, the fact you are out there reading helps.  OK IT IS THE GREATEST THING IN THE WORLD!!! Sorry for that.  I just had to get it out. Thank you all. Please keep checking back and always feel free to share the blog with anyone and everyone.  Please keep checking back because here is so stuff coming up that I feel is really cool.  Also, check out the Facebookpage for the blog.  Please share that too.

Thank you all so much and I love you all!!

KJD

A Meditation Through a Viewfinder

After my post yesterday, I decided to do some actual self-care.  I bought out my old camera and headed off to the Conservatory at Como Park. If you are not familiar with what the Conservatory is you really need to be.  Think of it as a year round beautiful garden.  It is by far one of my favorite places to go here when the weather starts to get cold here is the frozen north.  There are four basic gardens all with some of the most beautiful plants, flowers and fountains that I have seen here in Minnesota.

While I was walking around I was playing my yoga/meditation playlist in my ear buds as I shot.  It was serene.  If you talk to many people you may find that almost everyone has a hand full of “happy places.”  These are places that they will think of when things get rough in their lives.  The Conservatory is one of mine.

Of the four gardens, the one known as the “Sunken Garden” is by far my favorite.  If you ever see pictures of people getting married in the Conservatory, This is where it most often happens.  There is a long and shallow pond running down the center of the garden.  The pond is flanked by walkways and rows of seasonal plants and flowers.

As I walked around and viewed this world through the eyes of a very armature shutterbug, the other guests there seemed to just fade into the background until I felt like I was alone in this place.  In that space it was just my camera, all those beautiful creations and me.  This trancelike state was broken from time to time but either bumping into someone or others in a similar state bumping into me.  I would apologize to the ones I bumped into and the others would look up and we would both chuckle and ask how the other’s shoot was going.  We would show some of your favorite raw shots and go back into our own worlds.

In that space I did not think about anything but “what is the best angle/light/distance/lens for this shot?”  There was not thought of how cold it was outside of the walls. There was thought of how shitty the world is becoming.  There was only the moment that I was standing in and the world that was in my viewfinder.   It was mindfulness personified.

The last week in the program that I am in, we have been doing A LOT of work on the idea of mindfulness. The quick and dirty definition of mindfulness is being in the moment.  It is being in your body.  For me I have fought this concept for so long. The reason for this was mostly because I did not (and still do not) like the body that I am living in right now.  By practicing mindfulness, we are to learn that it is ok to be in the body and place we are in.  We are to use the practice to be present or in those moments as it unfolds.  Mindfulness is the opposite of disassociation.

I have included a few of my favorite picture from the shoot.  I hope you enjoy.  If you download the picture, please ask first (I promises to say yes, I just want to know who has them) and PLEASE give my the credit form them (saying you did them when you did not is a dick move).

Well, my amazing readers, this post makes number 4 in 4 days!  I think that all 600+ words a day thing is starting to be a good thing for me. If there is a topic that you would like to see me talk about or cover please let me know. You can reach me on the FacebookPage.  Just add a post and say, “HEY GIRL!!! I want you to talk about  XYZ on the blog!”

Ok Off to get this Sunday underway!

Love you all!

Be Good, Be Well and Always BE KIND!

Cheers

KJD

Winter is Coming!

Last night was the first legit snow here in Minnesota.  I love this time of year.  You I know that many of you will not and do not agree with me.  I am one of those odd people that loved winter.  I have said that I would rather be in the cold then in the heat.  As a bigger girl, I am not built for heat.  At least in the cold I can put more stuff on.  In the heat, eventually you are just naked, hot and miserable (and not in the fun, life affirming way either).

I have a lot of plans for this winter.  This is the first winter that I have not had to worry about school or the like in a few years.   I know that I need to have a plan out my time and projects or I will just put it off until I run out of time and just say fuck it all.  So, you might ask, what are all these things that I want to get done this winter?  Here is as short list.

  • Start seedlings
  • Write 4-6 short stories (2000-4000 words)
  • Loose 40 lbs.
  • Train for a 5K
  • Plan a trips to:
    • San Antonio TX
    • Raleigh NC,
    • Seattle WA
  • For a business Plan for Life Transitions Services
  • Work on and launch Media Project X
  • Go skiing

Theses are just a short list.  The good news is that there are things on this list that are time sensitive.  What I mean is this, my seedlings need to be started at a very certain time so that they are ready for spring but my 5K training is more of a long term thing.  My plan to go skiing is limited to the level of snow. I am going to see these barriers as a good way for me to plan out my winter.  I know how my mind works.  I would normally try to do all the things at once.  When I would inevitable fail, I would get frustrated and say fuck it all and quit.  Now I can break this down into more manageable chunks.

What do I mean?  Well here is an example. My seeds need to be started in February-March so that can wait a bit.  I can break down the story writing into 1-2 stories a month. I can combine the loose weight and training for the 5K into one thing and plan it for small times each week.  I can use the trip planning as a break from the writing, almost like a reward for making my word count goals.  I can set the goal that my business plan will be done by Xmas so I can launch it after the first of the year.  I can do the same with Media Project X.  As for skiing, well Mother Nature and I need to have a girl-to-girl talk about setting this up.

So, my hear readers, this is what my plan for this winter.  What is yours?  Please share what you are doing on our Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/transkarissarn/. This way we can all help keep each other accountable.  So let’s make this winter the best it can.

Thanks for reading and be well!

Cheers!

KJD