Change can be good. This is a statement that I have heard so much lately that it is starting to sound hackneyed and cliché. No matter how true that statement is change is still often hard.
In less then ten days as of this post I will be starting a new and exciting chapter of my life. Nursing. Not nursing school but actual patient care nursing. I graduated nursing school in September of this year and passed the NCLEX in 75 questions in October. In November I interviewed and accepted a position for a clinical float nurse for a local branch of a national nonprofit. I will be covering the needs of their clinics within the state of Minnesota.
To say that I am excited would be an understatement. While it still does not feel real to me yet I can not wait for my first day. This is the thing that I have worked for two (well more then that really) years for. This is the thing that I stressed, screamed, endured and fought for. Shit is getting real!
If I did not talk about how this change is actually bittersweet I feel that I would be missing have the picture though. As this door is opening, another is closing. By taking this job I will be leaving the one that I have had for over eight years. If I am being honest I think that it is time.
I loved my time as a tech, as a whole. I met and worked with some amazing people. I have helped some amazing patients. I learned so much that I have not even going to go into that list.
These experiences are not without their cost though. It is so true that nothing in life is free. During my time as a tech I have seen things that will stay with me forever, and not in the good way. During my time as a tech I have seen senseless deaths; been verbally, physically, and emotionally assaulted almost daily, and lived/worked with a near constant undercurrent of fear for my own life. It was to the point that my family had an actual plan for what would happen WHEN I was killed on the job. After eight years of this I was mentally worn down to the point that I ended up in the hospital after a failed suicide attempt. (see previous posts for the whole-ish story)
Please understand that this is not really commentary or rebuke of my soon to be former employer. This is the state of hospital medicine in the US today. The number of attacks on healthcare staff is not only appalling but is only rising. Staff are being assaulted every shift. Staff members are being killed on the job at rates that are mind blowing (sources upon request). This needs to change.
This is one of the reasons why I decided to walk away from the hospital setting for now and focus specialty clinical nursing. I want to become more of a specialist in an area(s) that I am truly passionate about. With this new job I will be doing just that. I will be focusing on Reproductive Health and Rights, Mental health promotion and Transgender Healthcare. These are the three of the four areas that I have the most calling for. To say that this is a dream job of mine would not be a lie.
I know that there are those who read this blog that are acute/hospital care nurses. I am not saying anything against them. There are those who that is where they are called to be. I love that. I love that there is a place in nursing that everyone can fit. Maybe some day I will go back to the hospital side of nursing. Right now it is not where I feel I can do the most good for the most people.
I will update everyone once I start on how the new gig is going. Thank you all for your time and reading my blog. I love you all!
As always, Be Good, Be Well and ALWAYS Be Kind!