Do you have that set of clothes that make you feel like yourself? Do you have that one blouse or skirt or jeans or hoodie that, when you put it on, makes you feel that all is right in the world? For me it is my scrubs.
I have been in classroom training for the last week. This meant that I was in a business casual dress code. While I was able to make what I had to wear work, I felt like I was in some odd place that I did not really fit. I am talking about clothing only. The organization that I am now with is amazing at making all of us feel welcome and part of the family. I am talking like I felt like I was just not my full emotional self.
This week we are starting to actually work more of a clinic mode. This means scrubs. I put my new scrubs (I had to change colors…THANK GODDESS) this morning and felt so good. It felt like I came home from a long trip. I was happy.
So what does that say about us (and me specifically)? Well, I think there is a someone complex answer to that question. For myself, I spent the last +8 years wearing nothing but scrubs when I was at work. In those eight years I got to a place where I knew my job backwards and forwards. I was the go to for so many that I felt comfortable. I think some of that feeling transferred to the idea of wearing scrubs.
When I was in business casual clothing, I felt the full realness of my newness. I felt how much I did not know what was going on. When I then put scrubs on, the comfort and confidence from my past job was able to be harnessed in part. The scrubs meant that I would be doing patient care. This is something that I know and feel good about doing.
Patient care is in my blood and when I am able to help people I feel whole. My mind and body knows that when I am in my scrubs I am about to do that. I feel that, now that I am in the right uniform, I am about to do what I am trained (and all but born) for. I found myself breathing easier and felt my shoulders relax a bit.
Please do not misunderstand me here. I know that i have a crap-ton of shit I need to learn in this new job to get anywhere near the proficiency of my last one. I know that I am doing a whole new level patient care. What I am saying is that I now feel that I am able to do what fills me the most with joy. That is helping people.
What about you? Is there a thing that you have that makes you feel like you? Is there something that you put on that makes your feel like that you have come home? Let me and everyone know on the FB group?