The image of the Crone holds many different connotations in our vast global history. It is a character that is seen throughout most of the world lore. Many times the Crone is depicted as a bitter old woman when is not conventionally attractive who prays on children and the gullible. She is the old witch in the woods that deprecate people will seek out for the help of last resort.
In some pagan traditions, the Crone is seen as the Goddess in the later stages of life. She is the woman who had past her childbearing years. The Crone is see and often revered as the wise woman of the tribe. She is the healer and councilor. She is the maker of medicines and potions. She is the worker of magic of both pure and..not so pure. She is the teacher of knowledge, both the mystical and practical.
As a trans woman, I feel that once I began transitioning I also started my own Croning process. The fact that I waited till I was 38 and already had two teenage persons in my life to start may have contributed to those feelings. This is not a bad thing mind you, just not something that I expected
The fact that I did not start living authentically until later in my life afforded me a very different outlook. Walking in the world of to my miss-assigned gender for almost four decades allowed me to see “how the other half lived.” It was enlightening. I have seen the world from now two very different sides.
I have seen the privileges that masculine identified persons are afforded. I have felt the stress of trying to be the “perfect” man, father, leader and/or spouse. I have felt the bite of the phrase “Man the hell up!”
I have also begun to experience the world through the lens of feminine identified persons. I have felt that pressure to alter my body to be beautiful enough, skinny enough and/or smart enough (but not to smart). I have felt the fear of personal injury, assault or even death as a group of men cross my path. I have felt the idea that I need to be the perfect spouse, parent and worker without complaint or balk.
It is the exact fact that I have see the world through both sets of eyes that makes me feel that I have entered the Crone phase of life. I have knowledge that many people do not possess. I am able to take this knowledge and use it to incite changes, to teach other and attempt to make the world better. As the old School House Rock cartoons always said, “Knowledge is Power!”
Be Good, Be Well, and Always Be Kind!