NOTE: So I have written this over a few day as I was able to make time. If this seems disjointed I am sorry. I am posting this on Xmas 2017. I will have my holiday thought in full at the end. In the meantime, enjoy!
Hello my patient and amazing readers. Once again I have been slacking with my posting duties. With finals and the holidays life, once again, got away from me. So enough with the prostrating myself to the masses :).
The school term ended with a bang. Finals all went well and I walked out with all B’s. I will take it. I was also able to get one of the two mandatory tests that I needed to redo knocked out. This means that I just need to brush up on my Pharm and I should be good. I think that I should be ready for that one near the end of the first week of the new term. I am now only 22 weeks from Pinning and a few more from the NCLEX. Holy shit I am actually doing this!!! Sorry. It still doesn’t feel real sometimes. I know that there are alot of you that are reading this that have told me that I am going to be good at this whole nursing thing but I am still scared out of my mind. I think that is normal because of the responsibility and risk that comes with that kind of work. I know in my heart of hearts that I will do fine. I feel that a bit of fear is a good thing. I think that it will keep me sharp and ever vigilant. A complacent nurse is a dangerous nurse!
Onto the transition front. I have been on estrogen for just over six weeks as of writing this. So far it has been a good ride. There were some moment of suck but they were soon gone. As I have said in previous posts, I have been dealing with mental health issues in my life. I knew coming into this that transition nor HRT would not solve all my issues. What I have found is that it has been able to remove one layer of these issues and give me the biochemical tools to deal with them in such a better way. With the reduction of the testosterone has reduced my rage to almost nil (unless truly called for) and the estrogen has made me feel more like a whole and real person. There was a real low point in the last sex weeks but I was able to get out of it within about a day. This is huge for me. Normally, something like that would knock me out for over a week. This is kind of my bench mark to tell me that this is whole thing is working.
As far a changes to my physical body are concerned, I am starting to see some different progress. I am starting to get the curves that I have always wanted. I am starting to fill out where I should and taper where I should. I know that it is still early but I am liking what I see. I have had others tell me that they are noticing as well so I know that it is not just in my head. WOOHOO!!
Lastly, the holidays. This is the time of year that people get together with family and enjoy time with their family. Ok that is bullshit for the most part. This is the season of stress, spending too much money and dealing with crowds. On and spending time with family…for better or worse, they our blood. For many of us they are our support systems while there are still many others that they are their greatest sources of pain. Whichever type of person you are, I hope that you are able to spend time people that love you and make you feel worthy and loved and valid.
Karissa RN(student…for 22 more weeks)
If you like what you are reading and want to help keep this going and help with the expenses not covered for my transitions Please feel free to go to my gofundme page (links on the sidebar). Please follow me on twitter so you can hear about my post as I get them out. I promise to be better at doing them more often. I will have my blog’s facebook page up soon (I hope). Once I get that up I will add the link and blast it out. If you have any question that you would like me to answer here please either tweet me or email me at email@example.com and use “Blog question” in the subject line. I am not processing that I will be able to answer all the questions but I will do my best to do so (within reason).